alexandra ewing is on the internet.

shh I love you shh which one am I talking to shh it’s late...

Tue, 21 May 2013 05:02:10 -0400

shh I love you shh which one am I talking to shh it’s late shh

So if I went blonde and got this dress, I could totally be Bel...

Tue, 21 May 2013 02:01:20 -0400

So if I went blonde and got this dress, I could totally be Bel Rowley for Halloween, right?

yellowingclassics: Of all the petitions that exist in the world, how is there not one to get rid of...

Mon, 20 May 2013 20:25:33 -0400

yellowingclassics:

Of all the petitions that exist in the world, how is there not one to get rid of Pierre McGuire. Like, the NHL has to know how people feel about him, right??

therumpus: Today is Cher’s birthday and that means its a...

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:26:38 -0400

therumpus:

Today is Cher’s birthday and that means its a special Cher edition of Madame Clairevoyant, courtesy of her bad-ass illustrator Jen May.

Aquarius: This week is going to mark some kind of shift for you, some kind of brightening, a sweet and surprising change. Spend your days outside and feel the way the air touches your skin. Spend your days at the ocean and fall asleep at night feeling salty and clean. Spend your days driving to places you’ve never been before, cooking things you’ve never made before, dreaming weird and brilliant dreams you’ve never quite dared to have before. The world is going to be good to you, this week. Take advantage of it. Get joyful, get weird, get wild.

This is the actual best thing ever.

And babe, I’m just like the best thing That could happen,...

Sun, 19 May 2013 23:00:55 -0400

And babe, I’m just like the best thing
That could happen, happen to someone
Now I’m seething from the inside
Plastered to the outside
Reaching to your side, under the sheets

bellymagic: i am going to clean my room today but i don’t want to. also i don’t think i can take...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:48:00 -0400

bellymagic:

i am going to clean my room today but i don’t want to. also i don’t think i can take harry styles to atlanta. does anyone in philadelphia want a harry styles cutout? this is a real question. you can also have his purple tutu

help a lady out, yahoo.

FINALLY, I WILL GET TO SEE BEWARE OF A HOLY WHORE.

Sun, 19 May 2013 21:56:00 -0400

FINALLY, I WILL GET TO SEE BEWARE OF A HOLY WHORE.

fourbeatsoff: I found this 2007 issue of Mojo in my closet and...

Sun, 19 May 2013 00:33:44 -0400

fourbeatsoff:

I found this 2007 issue of Mojo in my closet and I can’t stop laughing at this photo of Liam Gallagher.

What I would do with my Powerball winnings

Sun, 19 May 2013 00:20:00 -0400

(an update to last year’s MegaMillions post)

Buy my parents homes (probably separately, because I think that would make them happier, but who knows, money changes things).
Buy my parents new cars.
Buy my brother a car.
Buy my aunt and uncle in Yonkers a beach house, probably down the shore, maybe in North Carolina.
Buy my parents a beach house.
Pay for my brother’s college education, and flying lessons, and maybe an apartment somewhere, if he wants one.
Give every member of my family who has helped out my family a million dollars.
Try to locate my old co-workers from LnT191 and give them each a million dollars.
Give all my co-workers at DT1657 a million dollars-ish. (Less for the ones I don’t like.)
Pay off all my friends’ debts and assure them that throughout our lives I will have their backs when they need it.
Pay for any degrees they are pursuing.
Give all of them money too.
Give various people I love/admire on the internet money to invest in their dream jobs or get health care or even just buy beer, I guess, because it’s really not my decision.
Give various teachers I’ve had enough money to retire.
Set up some kind of renewed PGSA, and definitely hire back Doug Woods.
Pay for all the plastic surgery and health care my mother wants/needs.
Offer the same to my father, conditional on seeing a therapist.
Pay for my brother and I to get perfect teeth.
Take my mother on one of the Viking River Cruises advertised before Downton Abbey.
Set up a scholarship at a fancy medical school for future abortion providers.
Travel.
Purchase myself an apartment in a busy city.
Buy myself a Vitamix.
And a pair of Ferragamo Varas.
And the Miu Miu cat shoes duh.
Invest enough to provide a future for myself and any family I choose to have, and the same for my brother.
Pull a Luke Snyder and set up a charitable foundation for the rest because it’s still too much money to have and, like my co-worker C said tonight, I don’t want to end up murdered by my own family for my fortune.

I think, in the future, I will only be able to see 2013 as the year I relapsed, and the year all my...

Sat, 18 May 2013 14:47:00 -0400

I think, in the future, I will only be able to see 2013 as the year I relapsed, and the year all my family started showing their age by dying.

"If, as the dubious advertising slogan insists, ITV is “where laughter lives”, presumably it goes out..."

Sat, 18 May 2013 14:17:05 -0400

“If, as the dubious advertising slogan insists, ITV is “where laughter lives”, presumably it goes out on Monday nights.”

- I wasn’t aware that the new show with Ian McKellen and Iwan Rheon was airing already, and the first sentence of the first review I found is probably why.

I’m not pretending I am any good at tumblr but I am truly...

Sat, 18 May 2013 05:05:00 -0400

I’m not pretending I am any good at tumblr but I am truly terrible at twitter, and I am sorry for everyone who puts up with me when I come home from work on Friday nights and then watch bride shows on TLC and House Hunters International on HGTV and I freak out over wedding dresses, and beautiful homes in Thailand, and Natalie Dormer and I saying things in unison in response to questions from Craig Ferguson, and finding out that my favorite ever Amazing Race contestant Brook is getting a reality show about being a home shopping network host (but for a home shopping network I’ve never heard of).

Of course that meant I started watching old Amazing Race clips. I am pretty sure Brook and Claire the only team to have ever worn false eyelashes while running around trying to win a million dollars (or, in Claire’s case, being hit in the face with a watermelon while trying to win a million dollars because Claire was that contestant).

All the clips on YouTube are official CBS clips with ads preceding them and views in the low hundreds and few comments. In one of the videos a commenter complained about what looks like a dowel above Brook’s eye and to my surprise the only other comment was one explaining it, but the poster didn’t reply to the original commenter, so I am sure it was never seen. The explaining comment reads:

She stopped commenting on videos a year ago. RIP, octoloverful.

You act impressed and say you understand ‘Cause you like...

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:36:18 -0400

You act impressed and say you understand
‘Cause you like to believe that all that love is free
For someone like you—
You’ll never be lonely, or get the blues
But darlin’, it’s not true

Used to have pornbot followers, now it’s just NBC shows.

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:29:59 -0400

Used to have pornbot followers, now it’s just NBC shows.

braindeadradio: Venture Bros Season 1-4 Recap by number 21...

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:37:45 -0400

braindeadradio:

Venture Bros Season 1-4 Recap by number 21 (Gary). So good. Cannot wait for the new season.

I think there are two good reasons to watch this. If you’re looking to start the show and don’t have time to catch up before the premiere in June, this is a nice way to understand the universe while giving you the time to go back later. However, if you already watch the show, or are a general TV fan in the mood to admire a delicate, extensive universe, watching the video is just a way to take in the depth of the series.

Only two more weeks!

Robyn and I are television critics of nuance,...

Thu, 16 May 2013 03:50:07 -0400

Robyn and I are television critics of nuance, obviously.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????????????????????

It's not me, it's you

Wed, 15 May 2013 14:07:54 -0400

After two months, I realize that the difficulty with putting in contacts every day is not that I haven’t mastered the technique, but that the contact in my left eye should be an astigmatism contact.

I still occasionally sign off an email with “missYn you...

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:06:58 -0400

I still occasionally sign off an email with “missYn you girl” and it’s been so long I forgot where that came from.

The best part of this, however, is either:

Brendan randomly saying “DANCE” midway through the song
the video description, which reads

In an effort to cross promote both “The Brendan Leonard Show” and “Switched” ABC Family sent a girl from Godley, Texas to Winnetka for a weekend. Naturally we decided to make a BOYling Point video featuring her.

SWITCHED.

“What’s your name?”“Henchman...

Wed, 15 May 2013 05:13:00 -0400

“What’s your name?”
“Henchman #1.”
“See, you are nameless.”
“It’s Scott Hall. My name is Scott Hall. Okay?”
“Mmm, nope. Won’t help.”
“Yeah, now it’s just pathos. See, you’re dying in my lap, and I’m all, ‘Scott! Scott, don’t you quit on us, don’t you dare!’”
“You just made your unavoidable death more pathetic.”

UNLESS javier is like an emergency bf like "i've been making out with my best female friend BUT I'M STRAIGHT I SWEAR" which tbh is very unvod but you know what i'll take it

Tue, 14 May 2013 14:26:00 -0400

FREALZ. I will take it unhappily but beyond that, NO THANKS.