twenty-something philadelphia-area online diarist
comes home in the midst of a total breakdown and eventually makes good, to an electrifying soundtrack of '60s power pop.
it's the feel-good movie of the summer.facebook
sorry brittany i love you but not enough to like the penguins no no no
the worst team jesus
Flyers [Obviously], Sabres [VickyJ5ever], Ducks [Teemu5ever], Kings [Richie5ever pt.1 / Richie5ever pt.2], Blues [SabresWest], Sharks [BrentBurns5ever], Hawks [SuperDynastyHawks makes me feel the tiniest bit less bitter about 2010], Caps [because PARTY!], remaining Western Conference teams, every other Eastern Conference team except Bs and Pens, any AHL team, any CHL team, any ECHL team, any KHL team, Bruins, another NHL lockout so no Cup awarded, Pens
The only adjustment I would make is I’d put Montreal and Columbus up (I honestly think I have used #briere more often than #flyers on twitter, but I also use #borukstyle regularly to make fun of John Boruk’s postgame outfits too so who knows) and Vancouver down (because I cannot ever root for a team John Tortorella coaches sorry Vancouver).
(Also look at these beautiful tags because they are like, exactly what I want to say
#pens fans are the worst #dear lord they are the worst #i would rather hear stupid ass caps fans jizz their pants over ovi for another decade)
not that i am ever going to run a marathon but i imagine the sense of relief and accomplishment are similar
i am just a shy person who is bad at interacting with other people and always assumes she is not wanted
I can’t be the only one who replies to an email and then send out a message on tumblr and then interacts on twitter and feels a great sense of accomplishment, right? But I feel like I just ran a marathon or something.
And I hate being up this late because I can feel all the depression creeping in. “You’re going to be lonely forever.” “Why is everything wrong with your face?” “Who would hire you?” “You can’t write anything but stupid diary entries on the internet.” “Everyone’s waiting to leave you behind!” Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh go to beddddddd
You know, I get that you are a cheapskate. I get that. You don’t like to spend money. Cool.
But I live here, and you’ve already paid off your mortgage on this place so all this cash coming in is just profit now, so could you maybe actually fix everything that needs to get fixed? Yeah, it’s super inconvenient that our dishwasher, range, and washing machine all failed at like the same time. But if you had bothered to buy good appliances in the first place, that wouldn’t have happened.
And then you replaced the stove with a new but somehow crappier stove. And then you replaced the washing machine with a terrible, smaller capacity used washing machine. And then you tried to replace the dishwasher with a used, filthy dishwasher, except that it didn’t fit, and the dudes who came to install it were like, “Also, see how it is visibly broken in these places,” and my dad lawyered up and was like “Hey, you guys aren’t legally allowed to install this thing,” and wrote the intermediary who talks to you and started flipping out about it so you bought a new dishwasher (great!) except you still haven’t come to install it (it’s been a month and this giant box is sitting in our living room what gives!).
And now that terrible washing machine BROKE WHILE I WAS USING IT and my day off is tomorrow (today) and I had planned on using that washing machine for most of it to get shit done but now I CAN’T and also my hands are still numb from having to wring out my brother’s jeans from the cold water they were in and it took forever and my hands hurt and you know we still have a giant hole in our bathroom wall from like almost two years ago now and you never bothered to fix that OR the bathroom floors OR the central air that the one guy has come to see now for three straight summers who always tells us that it is basically broken and needs to be replaced because it is criminally inefficient and killing us financially on the bills OR any of the other stuff and you know, I get that you are a cheapskate, but I hope YOU get that you suck.